Sports by guys who like sports

Friday, September 29, 2006

Greatest Fall in ML History

As a loyal Cardinal fan it is hard for me to watch baseball this year. They have had three 7 game losing streaks, two of those have gone on to 8 games. They had a 7 game lead in the division 9 games ago, with the ability to close out the year by winning a couple of games against Houston. Instead they go and get swept, then lose 2 of three to San Diego at home. I honestly hope they don't make the playoffs. They are an embarassment to their fans. They play with no heart and don't seem to care whether the win or lose, they will collect their paycheck either way. The ownership instead of rewarding the fans for selling out their new stadium and giving them ever increasing revenue, instead decide to remain cheap and only bring in players that other teams have dumped. They have refused to pony up and pay some money to really improve this team. The unfortunate part is the Cardinals window for getting the World Series is closing. Their minor league system is a joke and ownership will not bring in high priced free agents as they would rather site back and make a profit. Unfortunately Cardinal fans are too loyal and will come out and sell out the stadium even when the team that is put out there is a disgrace. Albert Pujols and Chris Carpenter are the only positive thing for the Cardinals this year. The rest of the team should be very disappointed with their effort and should make strides to do something next year. Good riddance Jason Marquis, Jeff Weaver and Ronnie Belliard and thanks for nothing. Good luck to the Astros in the playoffs.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

The True Letter From David Boren

Dear Commissioner Weiberg:

To describe the lapses in accurate officiating at the Oklahoma-Oregon football game last Saturday as constituting an outrageous injustice is an understatement. Since officiating is a conference responsibility as opposed to an individual institutional responsibility, we must look to you to launch a vigorous, and I mean vigorous, effort to correct the situation. On behalf of the University of Oklahoma, I ask that you as Big 12 Commissioner take the following actions:

1) Seek an apology from the PAC-10 Conference for the gross errors in officiating. I would ask for an apology from the officials themselves, but I don’t want to bog them down. The officials will be busy working out for item #2.

2) Ensure that every official at the OU/UO game poses in the PAC-10 playgirl issue, and I think it should be a given, that I should get a personalized autographed copy. The officials screwed us, but at least I can dream of screwing them.

3) It is my understanding that the PAC-10 has a rule that they will only use PAC-10 officials at games with other conference institutions hosted by PAC-10 members. In light of what happened Saturday, I think that OU should be at least allowed to appoint a time keeper, much like the OU/Texas Tech basketball game two years ago.

4) The Big should request that the game should not go into the record books as a win or a loss by either team in light of the officiating mistakes. However, I do feel that it is prudent that Adrian Peterson gets credit for all of his statistical categories. Hell, we are forcing him to return kick-offs, to boost his all-purpose yards, in hopes that he can win the Hiesman. In fact, I would also like for you to retroactively award Tommie Harris and Rocky Calmus with 10 tackles and 4 sacks, distributed as you see fit.

5) For my personal pain and suffering, due to this extreme injustice, I should be granted 10 Oregon slaves, all young virgin men, who have good “quacking” vocal cords.

Since the University of Oklahoma and its officials are required by conference sportsmanship rules to limit their comments in situations like this, we must look to you as the commissioner of the Big 12 Conference to vigorously, and I mean vigorously, demand that our teams be treated fairly when participating in non-conference games. It is truly sad and deeply disappointing that the members of our football team should be deprived of the outcome of the game that they deserved because they couldn’t kick a field goal, um, I mean because of the an inexcusable breakdown in officiating.

David L. Boren
OU Prez.

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Lou Holtz sucks

Did anybody watch Lou Holtz this weekend on ESPN’s halftime show? Man, he disturbs me.

When Lou talks, he sounds like he’s choking on his own saliva. And you can see how the makeup person has tried to hide his wrinkles, which overlap and make the mascara gu visible for all to see.

It’s not that I don’t like old people on television; I love Keith Jackson. But watching Lou Holtz is like listening to a corpse flap its jaws. Sorry, Lou, but you stink.