Sports by guys who like sports

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

The True Letter From David Boren

Dear Commissioner Weiberg:

To describe the lapses in accurate officiating at the Oklahoma-Oregon football game last Saturday as constituting an outrageous injustice is an understatement. Since officiating is a conference responsibility as opposed to an individual institutional responsibility, we must look to you to launch a vigorous, and I mean vigorous, effort to correct the situation. On behalf of the University of Oklahoma, I ask that you as Big 12 Commissioner take the following actions:

1) Seek an apology from the PAC-10 Conference for the gross errors in officiating. I would ask for an apology from the officials themselves, but I don’t want to bog them down. The officials will be busy working out for item #2.

2) Ensure that every official at the OU/UO game poses in the PAC-10 playgirl issue, and I think it should be a given, that I should get a personalized autographed copy. The officials screwed us, but at least I can dream of screwing them.

3) It is my understanding that the PAC-10 has a rule that they will only use PAC-10 officials at games with other conference institutions hosted by PAC-10 members. In light of what happened Saturday, I think that OU should be at least allowed to appoint a time keeper, much like the OU/Texas Tech basketball game two years ago.

4) The Big should request that the game should not go into the record books as a win or a loss by either team in light of the officiating mistakes. However, I do feel that it is prudent that Adrian Peterson gets credit for all of his statistical categories. Hell, we are forcing him to return kick-offs, to boost his all-purpose yards, in hopes that he can win the Hiesman. In fact, I would also like for you to retroactively award Tommie Harris and Rocky Calmus with 10 tackles and 4 sacks, distributed as you see fit.

5) For my personal pain and suffering, due to this extreme injustice, I should be granted 10 Oregon slaves, all young virgin men, who have good “quacking” vocal cords.

Since the University of Oklahoma and its officials are required by conference sportsmanship rules to limit their comments in situations like this, we must look to you as the commissioner of the Big 12 Conference to vigorously, and I mean vigorously, demand that our teams be treated fairly when participating in non-conference games. It is truly sad and deeply disappointing that the members of our football team should be deprived of the outcome of the game that they deserved because they couldn’t kick a field goal, um, I mean because of the an inexcusable breakdown in officiating.

David L. Boren
OU Prez.


  • you are not right and have too much free time. Admit it, #2 is for you

    By Blogger jsr, at 8:31 AM  

  • I agree with the other comment, you have serious issues. Being married has made you have way too many gay fantasies.

    By Anonymous Schilling, at 5:33 PM  


    This is great!!!!!!

    I also got this quote off the OU rivals page:
    "Basketball is just a filler sport between football and nascar."

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